I HAVE A BIG EGO.

I used to smile, because I have a big ego. I would hear them discuss my demureness in front of me and my whole body would hic-cupp, internal goosebumps would grip me. And I smiled. I smiled to conceal the ugliness that could have slipped out in my words and actions. I concealed this huge ego for their comfort, until the ego broke the leash with the passing years.

The alter ego spoke to my being and said the world may try to put me in a box but my ego is too big, my alter ego too wide, my mind won't fit. I became my own teacher of life and found that when people believe you are too nice to be bossy, too this to be that, then they think of you as a limited thing incapable of experiencing the whole spectrum of emotion available to a full human being walking this earth. And chilling has pushed me to converse with all the voices in my head. Example?

  Well, Leungo is sweet, polite and prudent. I am he. Donald is sensual, confrontational and has a big ego. I am he. They are not alone in me - I have the core 'ego', alter ego and many other phantoms, spirits and angels that converse in the deepest part of me in a chant that the universe cannot comprehend because we do not have those languages yet. I am complicated. I am a chiller. Watchu gawn do 'bout it? Nada, methinks.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aex2HJriFuU